For Newlyweds and Their Parents

The mentality of the day is that parents should not help their young breed out when they first get married. We are taught that it is important for young folks to learn to earn their own way in the world. Basically the argument is that we shouldn't help each other out because it breeds dependence. By that way of thinking (the Protestant work ethic) 40 acres and a mule and home steading were devilish programs which created dependency upon the state. Early in the history of the LDS church anyone who chose to locate with the saints were given an inheritance which they neither bought nor earned. These freebies, contrary to creating dependency, created independent prosperity. The birth right and dowry traditions have their ties in ancient scripture and stem from a loving God who has endowed us with many gifts that were neither bought nor paid for by ourselves. If we are to learn from the patterns of relationships should we not then emulate His example.

If parents desire independence from their children then they are obligated to create or instill such independence within the child. A lack of independence is not the fault of the child but of the parent. If a need exists then we must ask ourselves, "What did we do to create the need within our child?" Certainly a child has his/her own will and can persist in doing that which is not right but we are taught that if you train up a child in the way that he should go, that even if the child strays in his youth that he will come back (onh his own). That to me sounds like independance!

If you have failed to teach your bird to fly, now is not the best time to push it out!